You want to be a successful coach, you were great in your previous roles, now you want to give all that information to others. But here is the difference: Coaching others is not about showing others how good you can do something or how smart you are. You may have been the best at your job; however, coaching is about getting others to be their best.

What is the one thing that every coach must have to be successful? Humility. Merriam-Webster defines humility as freedom from pride or arrogance : the quality or state of being humble.
Assume you were to guide someone that you did not know well, to move towards a goal they want to achieve. Are you really an expert in that person? Probably not. However, you may have the tools to help them towards their goal. If you are humble and open to others having good ideas or knowing what is best for themselves, you will be a coach who really makes a difference.

Here is an example…Did you ever play a sport, have a music lesson, or an academic teacher where the instructor was phenomenally talented in their field?  It can be great in some ways because it allowed you to see that it was possible. However, if all they did was show you how great they were and do the drills that worked for them, you would never find what works for you. Expert instruction may help you get better; however, it may not help you be intrinsically motivated.  If the instructor is only focused on what worked for him/her the instruction offered will not be as good as if someone took the time to figure out what made you tick. What excites you? What motivates you? What is your bigger picture for why you are doing this?  When you have someone who really cares about you, the difference can be dramatic.

Adults are not like children, who do not have a large of experience base and who also have the mindset of learning from adults and experts. Adults learn differently. Integral researcher and professor of Adult Education, Malcolm Knowles, (1980,1984) introduced six assumptions about andragogy (Adult Learning) that I will summarize here:

1. Adults are self-directed learners.
2. Adults have past experiences which serve as a deep resource for learning.
3. Adults move into various social roles (spouse, citizen, parent, employee, etc.) and their readiness to learn becomes oriented toward those roles.
4. Adult learning is mostly focused on their problems.
5. Adults have an internal motivation to learn.
6. Adults need to know the reason for learning something.

An effective, humble coach allows adults to move in their own direction, use their experiences, goals, and problems to move forward. Yes, coaches can interject ideas to help their clients think comprehensively, but ultimately humility demonstrated by you will allow your client to learn what they need to move forward.  

Finally, think back to a time when, as an adult, someone told you what to do. I bet you had reservations about taking this advice, probably thinking that the person offering that advice did not know the entire situation. You would be right. What might have happened if that same person was curious about your ideas? Perhaps you would have enjoyed that conversation and maybe even been more open to what the other person was offering. Humility is the key to the success of coaching. If you can be humble, you will allow your client to take the actions they need to find their success. Coaching with humility is really a best practice when working with adults..