I was working with a client when the CEO approached me about a particular employee with whom he’s had some difficulties. He communicated that “they’ve tried everything”, but would I want to attempt to coach him? My initial reaction was, “ugh, that doesn’t sound like an ideal coachee”, but as many other coaches were just starting out, I was hungry for the opportunity. Part of me felt excited by the challenge, but also terrified to fail or fall flat on my newly entrepreneurial face. As we started to iron out the engagement and what success would look like at the end of 6 months, he added another zinger. “By the way, I expect you to fail and I won’t hold it against you if you do”, he said. “Wow”. That really set the bar low, yet strangely added some relief. I accepted the engagement with a bit of a confident ego, stemming from I’m not sure where, and hoped for the best.

In thinking of how to approach my new client I decided that I needed to convey 3 strong attributes… trust, genuine curiosity, and unwavering commitment to positive results.

• Cultivating Trust
  I knew that gaining my client’s trust was going to be paramount to having any chance of success, as with most clients, but especially this one from the sounds of it. Considering this engagement was not starting with the coachee being given a coach as a reward, but rather as a last-ditch effort, I expected some resistance. I became laser focused on him, his style, his manner of being and tried to mirror that to build rapport. I wasn’t a threat, but a confidant and someone who is here to help, not hinder. I met him where he was and listened intently. I kept our early conversations light and with a spirit of hope. This technique seemed to work as I could feel him getting more and more vulnerable each time we spoke. Eventually, he started to verbally say how much our conversations were helping him and how grateful he was to have coaching as an outlet and aid to improve.
  
• Genuine Curiosity
  I became extremely curious about my client’s situation, business, and interpersonal interactions. There were layers to uncover to get him to start thinking differently and showing up in a way that improved his professional environment. The trust I had gained allowed for me to ask more and more difficult questions to get to the root of what was going on. It was important that he not only understood, but could feel that I was committed to his success and was 100% ‘in it’ for him. Peppering him with empty questions was never going to work. Getting super curious and interested in him with authenticity started to really shift the course of the engagement.
  
• Positive Results
  Failure was not an option… for either of us… even though the CEO initially gave me that option. I wouldn’t accept failure for myself. I continuously communicated my unwavering commitment to positive results for him. I genuinely wanted him to right his ship and elevate his brand, vis-à-vis the organization and the CEO. By this point, he saw the value in making that commitment too. We talked about what success looks like for him, how it would feel to achieve it, and the actions he could take to get there. There was a new energy in our coaching sessions… one of hope and excitement. Let’s just say the tone in the beginning was, umm, a bit cynical and negative. I could tell that the coaching was really making a big difference. We were now a solid working team as coach and coachee.

Guess what? Neither of us did fail! The CEO and others in the organization took note of the improvements and were thrilled. They have since extended my engagement with my client and offered me additional engagements within their organization. It has been an incredible learning experience, for which I’m grateful.